So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
