Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
