If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
