She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
