Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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