I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Dear god my vagina.
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