just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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