office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
This gyro tastes like lonliness
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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