Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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