how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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