The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
This girl is more easily done than said...
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
