just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
