this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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