Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize