Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
