Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
