Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
