He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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