I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
