3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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