Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Dicks are not precious.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
