the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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