so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
