Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize