it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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