he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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