Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just sucked dick on a ferry
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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