Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
My vagina just clenched in fear
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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