I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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