this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
