Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
