ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
