It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
