I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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