I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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