I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
