You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
