Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just gargled with NyQuil
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
