So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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