Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize