I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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