guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Holy shit dude........stairs
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
