I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
