doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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