I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
