Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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