what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
