Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize