i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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