PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
