can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
