Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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