so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
