When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
