Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize