Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
