i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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