i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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