Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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