So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
