if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
