My liver just broke up with me...
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
