i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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