Ambien. No doubt about it.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I CAN MOONWALK!
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
