They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
